Is June 10, 2006 Still Your Wedding Date?
THE WEDDING EMAIL AND PAPER MAIL HARASSMENT CONTINUES:
Dear Bride & Groom:
We want to make sure that we're up-to-date with your wedding date, so we can continue to provide you with information that will help you plan your day (and so that we won't bother you with pre-wedding planning when you don't need it anymore).
Your wedding date: June 10, 2006
If we've got it right, good luck in the next two months! If your plans have changed, please let us know by updating your information at http://www.theknot.com/profile
Best wishes!
Your Friends at The Knot
Dear Friends at Knot.com:
As a matter of fact June 10, 2006 is no longer my wedding date. I had a relationship nervous breakdown of sorts and walked out of my flourishing relationship last May 2005. You should have been able to detect that based on my inactivity with your site over the past year, but no worries, I know that the sole function of this site is to immortalize the engaged and make the single feel inadequate and developmentally delayed.
I am going through an intense period of growth and transition and my partner was not meeting me on an equal plane, so I moved on. Do not weep, I am in fact happy and hope that I still have your continual well wishes for good luck in the next two months as I endeavor to take my final exams and absorb all I can about Real Estate and Restaurant law at the law firm I will be working for this summer.
Right now I am busy navigating the ever changing and ever challenging playing field of dating.
Should I decide to get married now or ever, I will keep your site in mind, as it seems to have a monopoly on the market of online wedding planning. I promise to buy your magazine and respond to all of your emails as soon as I am intended to someone until death do us part. I promise to gush with my friends over gowns, flowers, favors and overpriced dinner. I promise to stress and join your online chat sessions about the perils of wedding planning. Until then, please kiss off and kindly stop emailing me.
Sincerely,
Teaser
Dear Bride & Groom:
We want to make sure that we're up-to-date with your wedding date, so we can continue to provide you with information that will help you plan your day (and so that we won't bother you with pre-wedding planning when you don't need it anymore).
Your wedding date: June 10, 2006
If we've got it right, good luck in the next two months! If your plans have changed, please let us know by updating your information at http://www.theknot.com/profile
Best wishes!
Your Friends at The Knot
Dear Friends at Knot.com:
As a matter of fact June 10, 2006 is no longer my wedding date. I had a relationship nervous breakdown of sorts and walked out of my flourishing relationship last May 2005. You should have been able to detect that based on my inactivity with your site over the past year, but no worries, I know that the sole function of this site is to immortalize the engaged and make the single feel inadequate and developmentally delayed.
I am going through an intense period of growth and transition and my partner was not meeting me on an equal plane, so I moved on. Do not weep, I am in fact happy and hope that I still have your continual well wishes for good luck in the next two months as I endeavor to take my final exams and absorb all I can about Real Estate and Restaurant law at the law firm I will be working for this summer.
Right now I am busy navigating the ever changing and ever challenging playing field of dating.
Should I decide to get married now or ever, I will keep your site in mind, as it seems to have a monopoly on the market of online wedding planning. I promise to buy your magazine and respond to all of your emails as soon as I am intended to someone until death do us part. I promise to gush with my friends over gowns, flowers, favors and overpriced dinner. I promise to stress and join your online chat sessions about the perils of wedding planning. Until then, please kiss off and kindly stop emailing me.
Sincerely,
Teaser
posted by Teaser @ 4:32 PM
3 Comments:
At 8:54 AM,
TTD said…
did you really send that?? wow...
At 11:20 PM,
Picasso said…
that is great fucking loved it...love u so so much
At 10:08 AM,
Cool AC said…
LMAO!!!! That was great! I especially love the part about how they "make the single feel inadequate and developmentally delayed."
Post a Comment
<< Home